That is how I feel at the moment. Torn between two projects. As many of you know, the story formerly known as Chosen (which has yet to be renamed), has continually been the thorn in my side. I am in love with the characters, the story line…in fact there is very little I do not like about it. Well I digress, there is one thing. The fact that I can’t seem to finish it! So as I fight like the devil where that story is concerned, I put it to the side for fear of killing both it and my love for it.
Meanwhile, I brainstorm an idea with a friend. Fall in love. Decide to plot. It is working well. But the need to actually write pulls at me. I refuse to put pen to paper or fingers to keys until I really get the plotting stuff somewhat completed. Then the guilt hits. Why am I working on something new when I can’t finish what I was already working on? I truly have no business doing that. It’s no wonder I have anywhere from twenty to thirty partials on my desktop. Seriously, that is no joke.
So I have compromised. It was the best I could do with a divided heart. I will continue to plot the young adult book and not pen a word at this point, but I will also give in to my need to write with the other manuscript because it is just shy of 60k and that is a lot of work to just put to the side. Maybe the plotting will help renew my interest in the other. Maybe it will hinder me more. Who knows. All I know is… maybe if I hadn’t been so willing to share bits of my story prior to now, people wouldn’t be bugging for the finished version of it and I wouldn’t feel so guilty for putting it to the side. But as they say… I made my bed and now I must lay in it. Well I am getting nothing done at the moment. Time to get back to work.